So many times, we use little phrases to express our feelings. That's life, that's farming....Murphy's law....I'm not in charge....
I am reminded by the envelope in front of me that life has a way of changing. With or without our help.
My cousin has just lost her husband of many lifetimes....in three weeks. Now sometimes we don't even have three weeks. Sometimes life comes at us fast. And boom, things are different....way different, and will be forever. Now, I don't want you all to go out the door looking over your shoulder, but have you counted your good things lately? Have you smiled at little joys....hugged perfect strangers...or family....or friends. Celebrated milestones....?
Like hay in the barn, rain on the ground, messages in your in-box. Lamb races, and ewes needing petting? Flowers on the side of the road, birds flying high in the air, or sitting at your feeder? Our time here is so short, and our energies so fleeting, that there is no time for extended anger, or sadness, or dreaming about things that should be. Go out and make it happen, live today to the fullest, love everything around you..... good and bad....as much as you can.
I have written about life altering changes. Sometimes it is easier to control your life...but not at all easy to try and change someone elses life. Unless those someones are your children, who need their life molded, or your parents who now need you to help them in their failing years....you can't control them at all. Surprise. Oh yes, I hope you have a partner or member of the family to help you share life. But if you don't, go ahead, share your life with a pet, a critter, a pen pal, a spirit.
While I am on the subject of parents....yes, we all want to help our parents....especially if they no longer have the ability, or capacity to help themselves. Do not sacrifice your children or partner to your parents. Do the best you can, and then let someone else help. Parents, how ever much we love them, have lived their lives....you still have a life to live. Caregivers have a way of sacrificing themselves, but it is not fair to sacrifice the lives of everyone else in your family too. Get help.
I have many other thoughts on this subject....if you are in the midst of a family crisis because of parents...email me. I have years of memories to help you with. Did I do everything right?...No none of do everything right....we can only do what we are capable of at the moment.
Yes, I have hay in the barn, and rain on the ground....life and the powers who control these things have been good to me. My local farmer did something like the loaves and fishes, and made much more hay than we had any right to expect....so much that the girls can stand on the fences and eat some of it. You know the hay they aren't supposed to get, it's the best hay in their minds. I have been skirting the fleeces left in bags in the back yard...under tarps in the rain....I will have to go back to skirting too, before they all get moldy.
Have you read the Alaskan blog? Trying to imagine doing all the same chores and yet in the middle of a beautiful wilderness.....mind-boggling!
If you have taken time during your busy day to check in on me, and read all the way down here....I hope you go back to living your life with a spring in your step....a smile....and a sense of anticipation for what is yet to come today.